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October 12 2017

thoughtslostandfound:

All food service workers should 100% be entitled to free ass meals on the job. Not discounted, not half off. Free.

Tweeted

“Das Weltkulturerbe ist kein Geld?”
“Nein Donald, das sind Bauwerke.”
“Wie der Trump Tower!”
“Der nicht.”
“Ich habe genug gehört!”#UNESCO

— Dr. Jo Stowasser (@JoStowasser) October 12, 2017

Tweeted

„Wer kennt das nicht: Man sitzt stundenlang vorm Computer und will unbedingt wieder Sport machen?“

ÄHM, NIEMAND. ICH BIN RAUS. #DHDL

— anredo (@anredo) October 10, 2017

October 11 2017

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Tweeted

Noch heute buddeln wir Bomben des letzten Krieges aus, während die ersten schon wieder Nazis in den Bundestag wählen. #noafd #HannBombe

— Mahir Ahmad (@Mahir1786) October 11, 2017

Tweeted

“Cookies?” the master asked.
“To recruit-” the apprentice said.
“The dark side does not recruit. First find those who deny they have one.”

— Micro SF/F stories (@MicroSFF) October 10, 2017
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shaymagnifique:

@lily-rachelle-2393 If this isn’t the fucking truth about me! 😂

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pappkameradinnenparkplatz:

Speisekartenfails :D

October 10 2017

Tweeted

11 Pizzen pro Bürger pro Jahr. Auf Twitter schämt man sich schon fast, wenn man keine 11 Pizzen in einem Monat schafft. #DHDL

— justatweet (@justatweet_not) October 10, 2017

October 09 2017

Tweeted

*Opens Twitter*
*Sees that World War III is trending*
*Closes Twitter* http://pic.twitter.com/WrvU5JgaP5

— Ryan Messana (@R_Messana9) October 9, 2017

October 08 2017

Tweeted

Police: Man arrested for public intoxication claims he traveled back from the year 2048 to warn of aliens. https://t.co/lVYV3ztrnu #odd

— AP Oddities (@AP_Oddities) October 4, 2017

Tweeted

“Mama, Tutti ist Schwanger, dabei haben wir vor dem Sex extra das Kondom über eine Banane gezogen!” #SchwiegertochterGesucht

— Jann (@NichRobertSmith) October 8, 2017

Tweeted

“Der herzliche Hasenfreund zeigt der sportlichen Schwimmerin seinen Olaf” - ich sag dazu jetzt mal nichts. #schwiegertochtergesucht

— Lelinski🍂 (@lealxbr) October 8, 2017

October 07 2017

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catstextposts:

Seriously

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October 06 2017

agarotado27dejunho:

littlekiwi37-archive:

goddamngeckogirl:

assignedtwinkatbirth:

There’s probably a German compound word for that feeling you get at 2am when you’re single in your mid twenties and the creeping doubt that you’ve somehow missed your only chance at love because you didn’t meet someone in college and now it’s too late

The german word you are looking for is ‘Torschusspanik’


Germans got a word for fucking EVERYTHING.

German is like the dictionary of obscure sorrows

nidrogen:

If you think my blog sucks, you should see my decisions in life

alrightanakin:

If you’re ever somewhere past closing time and an employee says “it’s no problem take your time :)” they’re lying through their fucking teeth it is 100% a Problem and you need to go

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